ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
