Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
