Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
