well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
