It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
