Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize