I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
