oh god the rape fog is back!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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