If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
