May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I see more hoeing in ur future
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