his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
