I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize