Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am naked and annoyed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
