I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
