the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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