Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
