It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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