I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
this is an emotional support booty call
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize