So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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