It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize