Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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