Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
