Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
