I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
