Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
