Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
