is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
