omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
