remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
