Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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