is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
