do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
