I'm so fucking centered right now
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
