pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
