He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize