I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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