im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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