can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
