i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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