Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize