I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
