we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
