Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
