Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
