Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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