I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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