Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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