He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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