best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
