So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize