I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
