erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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