We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
