Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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