Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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