I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I will be naked everywhere
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
