i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
