idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize