I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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