im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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