This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
