you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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