im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize