I must be too annoying 4 u.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
