My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He? As in you personified your dick?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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