You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
