thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
